Don't Try This at Home

I think I may have found the reason why I never seem to make much progress on my projects. It appears that I wear too many clothes. This week's news reports the arrest of a California (where else?) 50-year-old carpenter who allegedly likes to work in the buff. He says it gives him "a greater range of motion."

OK, I like to consider myself a carpenter-in-training, and--what a coincidence--I'll be 50 years old in a few months. Somehow, though, I can't imagine myself shedding my clothes to do my work. For one thing, these bookcases are beside two large windows that look out on our driveway. If I closed the blinds, I'd lose the sunlight which illuminates the dark corners. I'm also very cold-natured, and the thought of leaning against that cold, painted wood gives me the shivers. Besides, can you imagine the sting of a misdirected nail or the pain of a heavy, wooden hammer falling on your bare toes?

No, I guess this isn't my cup of tea. I guess I should've known. The guy in California also said, "a skilled craftsman can work clothing -- and injury -- free." That leave me out. Skilled, I'm not.

So fear not, neighbors. You won't have to worry about being scared to death if you glance in our windows one morning. I may have on dirty sweatpants and no makeup, but at least I won't be in my birthday suit!